Precious Cargo – A Series on Women
Posted on September 25, 2018
As I write this, I am 22 weeks pregnant with my first daughter. Our second of two IVF babies. And no one was more surprised than me to discover that there was a she in there this time. I was certain I was carrying a second boy. And I was elated about remaining a “boy mom.” Something about that felt special to me, necessary even. I felt like the world could use more good men. And I truly felt up to that task.
I had to immediately shift gears when I read “GIRL” on the sonogram screen, right on top of her little tiny alien head. (Hopefully, she’ll grow in to that.) I cried tears of joy instantaneously as I pictured my sweet son doting on his baby sister.
And as my day carried on, I realized the world needs more strong, self sufficient, confident women as much as it needs more good men. But so far, I haven’t felt certain I am up to that task. After all, I’m not even sure I am a strong, self sufficient, confident woman myself.
And yet, that is the job I signed on for with all of the shots and early morning blood draws, the fatigue and the waiting. Now, every day, I carry the most precious cargo inside my own body. I’ve thought of little else in the last two weeks since we got the news. While I recognize that we live in one of the safest societies, in one of the best parts of the world, and are a part of some of the greatest generations to date, I am all too aware that we as women don’t always feel safe, or equal. We don’t always feel seen, but rather, we feel watched. And just as concerning, we haven’t historically and still don’t always feel comfortable in talking about why.
I’d like to do a series on women. In light of my own precious cargo being the inspiration, and all of us women being such precious cargo in our great big grand universe, it seems only appropriate that be the namesake for this series. I’d like to start a conversation about just some of what’s been on my mind since learning I will soon be mothering a daughter. I’d like to talk about what that means to me, what fears it brings about, why my husband felt visible disappointment at the news, and how that made me feel. I’d like to ask questions, and have a series of honest dialogues about what it’s like to be a woman right now – and what it’s like to be a woman who doesn’t necessarily agree with every single “feminist” viewpoint being heavily promoted right now. I’d like to talk about what it means to me to: be a victim of sex abuse; have an abortion; be a mother; be a working mother; be raised by a feminist; be married to a bad feminist. I’d like to talk about the nature of female friendships. I’d like to talk about the differences in raising boys and girls, and whether there even should be differences. I’d like to talk about my hopes for our daughter, and my hopes for myself in raising her.
I don’t have answers – and if I do, they may not be the right ones. But I do have a perspective that is uniquely mine. And right now, I think the best thing women can do and should be doing is putting their perspective out there, participating in the conversations that effect our lives, health, and well-being – as well as our children’s if we have them. Certainly, different conversations will touch on religion in different ways and in varying degrees. But all will touch on the human element. Because that’s really what this is all about – the reality of our here and now.
Back with more Precious Cargo soon. Hope to see you there.